I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
