Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
