Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
