Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
