How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
