Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
