Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

If i could tip my vagina, i would.

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(845): View more from New York

I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.

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(207): View more from Maine

hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.

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(480): View more from Arizona

There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay

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(229): View more from Georgia

I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.

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(913): View more from Kansas

i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us

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(310): View more from California

Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.

(310): View more from California

It's the best of both worlds

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(541): View more from Oregon

He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.

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