Non-Jews are for practice
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
