wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
