1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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