what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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