every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
only if we run a train.
done.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
