You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
