He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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