Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
