party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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