Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
