But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
