Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
