Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
