At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
