That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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