She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
