Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
