IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
