Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
