The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i out mim tonsoeep
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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