I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize