i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
