Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
