this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
