Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
If i come over, it means nothing
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
