new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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