ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
