My cat gives me a boner
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
