I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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