they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
