I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
