I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
