if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
