How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We left the knife in your bed.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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