at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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