My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
