My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
