Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
