The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
