He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
