STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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