Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
