Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
